The Bloody Memoirs: Kaname Kuran
by YuukiNicole99
Summary: If you're interested to know what Kaname thinks and feels just read this. The story is told through Kaname's point of view so you'd be able to know how he feels about a certain event in the story. Please review this! I'm excited to hear your reviews!
1. Chapter 1

There is only one person who has governed my cold, empty heart for so long now. It was her warm smile, and the innocent glow of her brown eyes that made me live this long.

It was the desperate yearning to protect her with every facet of my being that forced me to step forward and forget the bloodstains of the past.

_Yuki._

The dances she makes in my imagination, during the nights when I haven't seen her face, are like the movements of the graceful snowfall in winter. They fall and cover everything with its mystifying purity. All the pains, the agony, the melancholy dissipated with the touch of her soft hands.

"Yuki…"

Happiness glazed over her wide innocent eyes as she heard me say her name. Her cheeks turned to a dark shade of red, and that captivated me in a way that only she can do.

Snow was falling all around us, covering everything. I know that it was cold and yet… she waited for me outside her house, ignoring the sharp coldness that enveloped her small fragile body.

Why is that?

Yuki, tell me, how could you love me when you know so little about me?

How can you love me when the only knowledge you hold in your heart is the knowledge of me being in the same species as with that that tried to hurt you?

How can you love me when you know that I'm a vampire?

You're now human and all your memories about me and our family have been erased. I hate that fact. I hate it. I don't ever want to leave your side. I don't want to play in this game of pretense with you. I want us to stay the way we were before, to freely hold each other and love each other.

But…

You're human now. And our parents did that to save you. To protect you from the insane chaos that's now enveloping my every existence.

You're human now, and you have to… fear me, right, Yuki?

And yet, here you are running towards me wearing a wide smile on your enchanting face.

"Kaname-sama! Kaname-sama!" you said with glee as you wrapped your cold hands around my waist and smiled at me.

"K-Kaname-sama?"

"Today is my birthday! This day was the one when Kaname-sama saved me from a bad vampire a year before!" She excitedly said to me. "Congratulations, Kaname-sama!"

The innocence in her beguiling eyes were so beautiful—so warm. It's only in these moments where a vampire like me can feel warmth.

I knelt down and locked her in my arms. "You've got it all wrong, Yuki." I said and I saw confusion in her brown eyes. "This day is for you. Happy birthday, Yuki."

I can feel her heart beating rapidly against my chest that instance. It was beating for me.

I know that she loves me… that in her heart, it's me that governs it.

And I hope that it will only beat for me and no one else.

I hope that I will be the only one to enter her heart….

Because when that pitiful stranger comes and forces his way through Yuki's heart, I might be unable to stop myself from killing him.


	2. Chapter 2

There's a widely acknowledged fact about the world that has piqued my interest. It's change.

Change is constant as they say, and nothing can ever stop it. Not humans. Not vampires. Not even purebloods like me. No amount of power can halt the world's continuous change. It alters itself with every tick of the clock.

Sometimes… it's quite alarming to know that it's possible to wake up and know that the world has already changed…

"Kaname-kun?" Kaien Cross repeated when I didn't answer. I've been engrossed in my own reveries and thoughts about what he said just a few seconds ago, and I can see that he's curious as to what I was thinking. "What are your feelings about this?"

"My feelings?" I asked, careful of keeping my emotions hidden.

I scrutinized Kaien's face very carefully and noticed that his jovial mood just a minute ago has changed to a distressed one, as if he was anticipating that I would disagree with his plans.

"My feelings about the matter are not important, nor will it change your plans of keeping that boy here, right?" I stopped briefly to wait for a response; however he just fixed his soft eyes on me.

His soft ocher eyes… It's almost hard to believe that those same ocher eyes were the ones that belonged to a fierce hunter ages ago. It's almost impossible to believe that this seemingly defenseless man whom I have been talking to was the same man who hunted down numerous vampires and purebloods before—the same person who tried to kill my mother.

Ah, but that's change, and humans are the kind that is most vulnerable to it…

When he didn't answer, I decided to continue. "Upon entering this house, I smelled the scent of blood. Tell me, Zero Kiryuu has been bitten, am I right Kaien?"

I saw his eyes darken with what seems to be sympathy for the boy. "Yes. It would seem that the same pureblood that massacred his whole family was the one responsible for biting him."

_Shizuka Hiou…_

"So, how is he now?"

"Oh," He smiled. "He's okay now, Yuki-chan took care of him. He's such a good daughter!"

Even after saying it, those same words resounded in my head, echoing throughout that dark and dingy room. An irritating emotion flowed through my veins, covering every inch of me and warning to take over my senses. My cold heart burned with jealousy when he said those words.

The knowledge of the girl whom I love, taking care of someone else, the image of her generously offering her smiles to a stranger, the thought of her being close to someone else filled me with a burning sensation.

Hate. Jealousy. Anger. Those were the feelings that proliferated inside of me.

But… I have to ignore it—to push those emotions aside. I have to stay calm and never let anyone know about my feelings about that. I can't let my feeling destroy my relationship with Yuki.

I know her—I'm quite aware of her purity and her extreme kindness… I know that once she's attached to something or someone—once that she has set herself in helping others—she won't let anything hinder her from doing so.

And I won't let it happen… I won't let my selfish feelings take over and do something to make Yuki hate me. I won't lose her…

She's my life. My existence revolves only around her. She's the ultimate reason why I breathe, why I even have the initiative to open my eyes and welcome another day filled with loneliness and longing. She's my only source of warmth and happiness in this damned world. She's the reason why my heart keeps on beating.

And without her…

If I'd lose her…

I'll die. I'd lose my reason for living.

I'll lose myself…

So, if this is the only means of keeping her with me, if letting Zero live with her is the way to let her stay with me, to keep her locked in my arms forever, then I'd agree. Even if that means I have to endure the irascible feeling of jealousy that I'm keeping within. Even f I have to suffer whenever I see them lock hands together, or whenever I see Yuki offer him with warmth in her eyes.

The same warmth that should be mine only.

Even if that hurts me, I'll agree.

For Yuki's sake.

For Yuki…

I'll shun these emotions which burns be inside.

I replied to Kaien with a newly found calmness within me. "Kaien, you do know what will happen to that boy, right?"

He hesitated a little before answering. "Yes, but I will make sure that my Yuki will be safe. I'll be observing him." He stood up and offered me a smile. "Don't worry Kaname-kun, I won't let anything happen to our princess."

I stood up and offered him a smile of my own. "Right, well, I better go home now. I'll just go say goodbye to Yuki before I leave."

I was starting towards the door when he called out to me. "She's probably asleep already, she was rather tired this evening."

Tired from taking care of "him."

"Right, Kaien." I smiled before closing the door discreetly.

When I opened the door to Yuki's room and found her asleep, I found myself smiling. I couldn't control myself from caressing her cheek with my hand. Her cheek was so soft and captivating that it filled me with the longing to pour showers of kisses on it; however, I restrained myself from doing so.

My bloodred eyes scrutinized her—drinking her beautiful image. Her long brown hair had a faint scent of blood—Zero's blood. She probably got it from taking care of him.

Again, the same emotion burned inside me, and I didn't even notice that I was hugging her already, causing her to wake up.

"K-Kaname-sama?" She startled me, and I quickly smiled at her. 'Are you leaving?"

"I'm sorry, Yuki, I woke you up." I smiled. "Yes, I'm leaving, go back to sleep okay?"

I kissed her forehead before I laid her down on her bed. She slept again after a few seconds.

Before I was heading out of her room, I heard her whisper something. It was, "I love you, Kaname-sama."

She said it in such a soft voice that I was sure she was dreaming.

I was happy… because Yuki's love for me hasn't changed.

I was happy that she remains untouched by that cursed phenomenon.

I was happy… that she's still the same Yuki.

Yes, she won't change. She will not.

Even though my mind is doubtful of that…

In my heart, I want to believe it… and it keeps on shunning the emotions of jealousy that burned inside.


End file.
